Parenthood: An Awesome Responsibility

“Mommy!! If you don’t give me something to eat… then I’m not eating!”, my daughter said it forcefully, with a little pout and anger in her voice. It seems I had become distracted and she’d been waiting for breakfast a little too long. Guilt washed over me and I rushed into my kitchen to put some food in her tummy.

Our child’s complete and utterly dependence on us is shocking at times. They depend on us for everything. If I don’t feed them they don’t eat. If I don’t bathe them they don’t get clean and if I don’t watch them they don’t stay safe. Besides basic survival skills they also need us to help them negotiate the confusing nature of life. The other day I had to try to explain a spirit to my child. That was a challenge. What we teach them is critical in helping them grow into responsible good human beings. If you’re anything like me you sort of knew what you were getting into but when it came down to it you really had no clue.

To parent effectively we have to be a relatively stable healthy individual. No matter how sorry you feel for yourself at 2:00 am you have to just get up and do what needs to be done. You can’t be whiny and throw a pity party every time they impinge on your schedule. You’re allowed to get cranky, even go a little crazy but you gotta hang on. There are times when I feel overwhelmed and not up to par. I’m not saying all this is easy. Lord knows that I’ve been really angry, unreasonably so at times. During the heat of the moment rational thought isn’t always accessible. For this reason self forgiveness is something you should get comfortable with.

I’ve learned through the rigors of medical school and residency not think too hard about the really tough times but to just schedule little breaks and keep putting one foot in front of the other. I think the same thing goes for parenting. When it’s a long sleepless night, I just tell myself that it’s all right. I hold an image of a hot steamy mug of coffee in my mind and know that the desperate feeling will pass. It always does. It also helps to find other couples with kids. These people will be your lifeline. They will offer you support, humor, perspective and make this crazy beautiful world of parenting a little easier. Would I do it again? A thousand times over. Wouldn’t you?

Sheila Cason, MD