How to Balance Work and Life

Are you like me? Are you constantly feeling pulled between work and life? The other night I was trying to get some work done and my oldest kept interrupting me. When I finally had enough I snapped at her and she started crying. I felt terrible of course and then gave her my undivided attention. She soon felt better and went to bed without any problems. Later that evening I stumbled across Stephen Covey’s blog post. How to Strike a Work and Life Balance. He said “…having a good work/life balance means that your actions and priorities are aligned in a way that is taking care of what is really important to you.” I fell asleep pondering this and woke up with a headache. I definitely wasn’t aligning my actions and priorities. I had to admit I was fractioning my time in too many places and I wasn’t taking care of what was the most important to me- my family.

That next morning, I cornered my husband on his way out the door. He’s honest and always willing to offer constructive feedback. Over a cup of coffee we discussed my priorities. Though I was practicing pediatrics part time I was still “working” more than ever. I had so much on my plate, even my hobbies felt like obligations. That morning he asked me what my goals were. What did I hope to accomplish? With my life? With my time? When I paused to answer questions that I had never asked myself, I knew it was time to scale back and focus on just a few things. I went back to Stephen Covey’s post for inspiration.

Covey hit home again. He said, “To a chronic multi-tasker everything is a task. Soon, the things in life that are really important to them are in the same list as everything else, and the only tasks that get done are the ones that have become urgent, but often aren’t very important.” The problem was that I was achieving just for the sake of achieving. I had a growing list of to dos and even that which was supposed to rejuvenate me felt like an obligation.

I slowed down and thought about what I would regret if I didn’t do. I thought about my life and discarded activities that kept me busy but didn’t contribute to my long range goals. If you commit to asking yourself what is really most important, then the little things that start to distract you- the urgent but not important tasks such as checking email, surfing the internet and blogging daily fall to the wayside. I discarded two of my three blogs, designing my website and slowed down with my parenting column. I kept my writing course and taking photos for fun. I also signed the girls up for soccer and started to volunteer in Gabby’s kindergarten class. I am focusing on organization so I have more time to play such as cooking meals that will give me leftovers for days.

Covey says there are no quick fixes and he’s right. It’s hard to change an achievement mentality. Ever since I was little I had a “goal.” Now I’m grown and I have to ask myself, “Now what is my goal and when do I actually reach it?” I have to ask myself, “How long do I delay gratification?” Do I vacation when I’m retired? When my kids are grown? When I’m no longer around?

I keep telling myself that people are more important than things and experiences are more important than material goods. When I focus on this, it becomes easier to align my work and life. I still worry that I’m not “producing” enough- whatever that means. But in 10 years I’ll look back and know that I went to their soccer games and read to their class. I have to tell myself that THIS is important. This moment. Right here. Right now.

Sheila Cason MD