Imaginary Friends and Children

Is there someone new at your house lately? It can be disturbing to find that your child's new friend isn't one you can see. But don't worry this is a normal part of a child development particularly around the age of 3 and 4. In fact there is some research out there that speculates that those children with imaginary friends are more creative and imaginative.

This can be a delightful peak into your child's imagination. And it's more common than you think.
When I asked my readers at DrCason.org if they had any experience with imaginary friends this is what they said.

As for imaginary friends, yes, they have been around a lot lately. My son, now 3.5 years old, tells me, “My friends are here” and “We are having a sleepover.” They have slept over almost every day for the past few weeks! I even call their imaginary moms to see if they can come over to play or have them come pick up the kids if they are not behaving. (At the request of my son, of course!). I think it is great and I tell them they need to behave and play nice. I treat his imaginary friends like I would if his real friends are over. I don’t want him to think there is something wrong with having imaginary friends.

I had an imaginary friend as a child. Humpty Dumpty and his family (he had a sister, mother, and father) lived in my bathroom, although Humpty would come out and play with me in the rest of the house, too. My mom made me a handmade Humpty Dumpty doll and I remember going into the bathroom and telling him I couldn’t play with him after that.

My daughter had an imaginary friend named Dubbie Dubbie and Dubbie. To this day we aren’t sure if Dubbie was one person or three. We also don’t know what Dubbie looked like. He or They hung around for about a month, then was never spoken of again. She was 2 at the time. Now she’s four and gives me a dirty look when I bring him/them up.

Strangely enough, my child started playing with an imaginary friend just today! We were at my parent’s house for dinner and she was in the bathroom playing with “X-”. I said, “But I’m X-.” and she said, “No, this is X-. (pointing at no one) She lives in the bathroom, she’s my best friend!”

As for imaginary friends, My eldest created two imaginary friends for herself. Claire Bonnet and Lucy. They would only come to play when she was sick and or in hospital. Lucy came with her for each and every operation and test and Claire bonnet was always there afterward to pick up the pieces. She was the only one to have the imaginary friends though. It was really interesting to watch. Especially as she was one of twins, so she always had company.

I have a 14 year old who had an imaginary friend for quite a long time, a few years, as I recall. She called her imaginary friend Sam. I never knew whether Sam was a boy or a girl.

My 10 year old son had an imaginary friend when he was young also. I think his name was Henry or something but I don’t remember and wasn’t around very long.

Pretty cute huh? In fact it makes me wish my child has one so I could see in their world a little!

• Listen carefully to what your child says to his imaginary friend. You might be able to identify some of the stressors that your child is coping with.
  
• Don't let the "friend" get away with breaking the rules. Just tell your child that rules are the same for "Princess Amy" as with anyone else.
• Try not to be overly inquisitive about their friend. If they mention it then great- ask a few questions. But let your child's friend be their friend not yours.
• Talk with your pediatrician if you notice that the "friend" is interfering with your child from interacting or developing his own "real" friends.