Choices

Well it looks like my Guam pediatric license has come through. I’ll be soon working again and I’m excited and nervous. Pediatrics is a love of mine. It peppers my conversation. It colors my world. But being a mom is my greatest love. These last 3 months have been a gift. I have discovered what being a full time stay at home mom is like.

For three months my children have been my center. For the first time I wasn’t afraid of fevers, missed buses or traffic congestion. I knew I’d be there to handle it all. I knew I didn’t have to arrange my schedule to accommodate theirs. Their schedule was my schedule. My patience and time management were challenged. I was stressed but it was different. I went weeks without time to myself. Some days were bliss. I’d catch the wave of motherhood and ride it! Smooth and fun, it felt great! Then other days were pure pandemonium. I found myself trapped under that exhausting wave of cleaning, cooking and refereeing fights.

I have realized that there is no perfect answer to whether you should stay at home or work part time or full time. There is no “best” way of doing it. It’s just what works for you. I read recently that peace comes from owning your choice. We all have choices. I chose to be a pediatrician. I chose to get married and to have three children. I chose to stay at home and soon I will choose to return to work part time. It’s freeing and empowering to know that I wanted this.

Sheila Cason, MD